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I have zero Olympic medals…

…but I did receive a gold star in elementary school once. That’s gotta count for something, right? Right? Imagine if you are an Olympian and you trained four years in preparation for the biggest moment of your life. Suppose that your time to shine arrives and instead of throwing the shot put 40 thousand feet to win the gold, it ends up at your feet. Imagine how they must feel, training at a world class level for 1461 days (including leap year!) and not achieving anything for it. I would be pissed.

The reason why I don’t watch the Olympics is plain and simple, it’s boring. But Danny, it’s so inspiring and you should be rooting for your home country. Oh whoopee, we just won the bronze medal in curling. Seriously, how drunk and/or high did you have to be in order to invent this so called sport? Let’s throw this over sized puck on the ice at a target. But wait, we have to have people run in front of it and shave the ice like a bunch of crazy maniacs. Do people point and laugh at you if you tell them that you are a professional curler? Cause if you told me that was what you did, I would.

Don’t get me started on the whole gymnastics angle. Do all guys feel guilty watching this on TV? I don’t know about you guys but I feel like a pedophile watching anorexic 16 year old girls with zero cups doing a split on the balance beam.

Is America good at any sport anymore? Back in the days of the Dream Team (version 1 and 2), we would destroy other basketball teams by like 5 million points. Nowadays, we would be lucky to get any medal.

Just because of my Korean heritage, I have to mention the one sport that South Korea is good at, no, is dominant at. What event could a bunch of Asians just hold a stranglehold on? Archery my friends, bows and arrows. We are almost guaranteed gold in this event every time, heck, we hold almost every record for this event for both men’s and women’s. So if there’s one event I would have no problem watching it would be Archery, maybe Handball. (How is this an actual Olympic sport? It boggles my mind.)

Fugly

I have been asked by a certain someone to review Lindsey Lohan’s breasts. How can I turn down such a request? So without further ado, I present to you my take on her tatas. (Spell check tells me that tatas is not a real work but I beg to differ) I put Lindsey Lohan in the same boat as Julia Roberts. For some reason, most people have this crazy idea that Julia Roberts is attractive. I hope I’m not the only one who thinks this, but in my humble opinion I think that she is ugly as sin.

I feel the same way about Lindsey Lohan. People will argue that she used to look before before drugs and alcohol took over but I never thought she was good looking, even before she checked into a rehab clinic every other week. I’m not sure if you were aware but Lindsey recently did a nude photo shoot for the New York Magazine. I’m not gonna post any of them up but you can easily google for it. The setup was a recreation of the famous last photo shoot by Marilyn Monroe before her death. When was the last time you saw a celebrity willfully display her gazongas (another word that should be in the dictionary) for entire world to see. Too bad they looked fake and were sagging. I couldn’t think of the appropriate term to describe them so when I asked Amanda, she immediately responded with mudflaps. Then she explained how it would hold a pencil if you put it under there. I guess it makes sense in an out of the box kinda way. Anyways, I rate Lindsey’s boobs a 1 out of 5 drunken mugshots. Two thumbs pointing down, just like her milkbags.

Rebuttal to Danny

I have several comments about Danny’s posts (Danny’s looks like Denny’s which makes me think of eggs over my hammy ooo)

I enjoy watching the Olympics.  I can’t watch them for long periods of time but I enjoy the following events

  • Almost all  gymnastic events (especially trampoline!)
  • Synchronized swimming (I was on the college team for a semester)
  • Horseback riding events
  • Snowboarding

I enjoy watching various other events especially if it is a sport that I don’t know very much about it.  Also the opening event is always worth watching for all the pyrotechnics, silly uniforms, and multicultural dancing.

You go Mr. Flaming roller blading Olympic man!  Even if Danny doesn’t support you I DO

Also Danny I don’t think we should be posting videos of people pretending they are in sexual relationships geez just DO IT.

Happy day that only comes once every four years

I like to compare February 29th to the Olympics. Both events only happen every four years, some people make a big deal about it, but in the end, no one really cares. When was the last time you watched the Olympics? I rest my case.

I have always wondered what day people who are born on February 29th celebrate their birthday in a common (non-leap) year. Do they party on the 28th or the 1st? I have never met anyone born on this day so I’ve never had the chance to ask anyone. This is a very important question that needs answering. I’ll be waiting.

Happy Leap Day!

Don’t you love holidays that deserve a special Google banner!?

Yes this special day doesn’t come very often! To celebrate I will share with you how I make FANTASTIC grilled cheese sandwiches

Instead of butter I discovered that mayonnaise spreads much easier, is tastier, and still gets a lovely golden crispiness.

I love most any melty cheese but I suggest using half cheddar and half pepper jack

For a little extra kick I like to spread a little bit of garlic on one side of the bread and sprinkle a little herbs du provance over the cheese

I cook the sandwich over medium heat in a pan on the stove until the cheese is throughly melty and the bread has turned golden brown!

Enjoy!

Do you have any great grilled cheese techniques? Let us know!

grilled cheese!

I can do anything you can do better

You think that you’re the only one who can link videos? I don’t think so! Take this, and take that! Kapow!

And the awesome response.

Two great hippo videos!

Which would you rather have??